Trapped...

How does one escape their thoughts? How does one escape what they feel deep within? How does one escape their emotions? What they feel in their heart?

Or maybe I should put it this way: How do I escape my thoughts? How do I escape what I feel deep within? How do I escape my emotions? What I feel in my heart? How do I leave my head? How do I leave my thoughts and escape to another place? What place? Where? How do I escape the things I cannot solve? How do I escape the tension in my head because of the things I cannot solve? How do I escape the headache that comes because of the tension in my head caused by the things I cannot solve?

HOW?? How do I leave me behind and be someone else? Where do I go to escape myself? Does such a place exist? A place free of all the tension around me… a place free of all the negativity around me… a place free of all the pressure around me… does such a place exist?

One musician once sung, “there is a place I call my own, where I can stand by the sea, and think of all the things I’ve known and dream that I might be free… like the bird above the trees, gliding gently on the breeze, I wish that all my life I’d be without a care and flying free. But life is not a distant sky, without a cloud, without rain! And I can never hope that I can travel on without pain… time goes swiftly on its way, all too soon we’ve lost today, I cannot wait for skies of blue, or dream so long that life is through. So life’s a song that I must sing, a gift of love I must share, and when I see the joy it brings, my spirits soar through the air… like that bird above the trees, gliding gently on the breeze, for now I know what I can be and now my heart is flying free…”
Is there really a place I can call my own? A place where I can be free? Gliding gently on the breeze? Can my life really be without a care and can I really fly free?? What about the people around me and the boundaries they set for me? What about the standards of the society? Cultural restrictions? Religious guidelines? Can I really be free to fly as I wish?

Another musician also said, “when the world seems far beyond me and I have no place to go, when my life seems cold and empty and I feel I’m all alone… then a song that I remember helps to ease my troubled mind, and I find the strength within me to reach out just one more time! For as long as I have music, as long as there’s a song for me to sing, I can find my way, I can see a brighter day, the music in my life will set my spirit free!! When my life seems cold and empty and I feel I want to cry, when the dreams I keep inside me seem to fade and almost die, then I call upon my music and it helps to dry my tears, and I know that I can make it, I’ll reach out just one more time! For as long as I have music, as long as there’s a song for me to sing, I can find my way, I can see a brighter day, the music in my life will set my spirit free, set it free!!!!”
Is music really that powerful? Can it take one to a whole new world after all there is a song for every occasion, a song for every emotion, a song for everyone out there… can words and a tune to those words be that powerful? Powerful enough to give one the strength to reach out just one more time? Powerful enough to make everything alright? To calm every storm and bring a brighter day? I certainly believe it can… music has the power to transport one to a world far far away… a word where everything is alright, a world where one is free... a dream world… a perfect world…

What do I do when the world I used to escape to no longer exists? What do I do when my coping mechanisms are no longer there? What do I do when those I used to lean on are gone? What do I do when the people who used to keep me sane are no longer readily available? What do I do when I feel as though I can’t burden the ones that are there with my baggage? What do I do when some don’t seem to care anymore? Maybe it’s because they never realized how important they were, I don’t know...or maybe I never mattered much... but that’s a story for another day… where do I escape to when all that used to help me escape this constant headache is no longer there? WHERE DO I GO?
But is escaping to another place the solution to the problem? What happens when reality strikes again? What happens when I can’t run from myself anymore? When I can’t run from my thoughts anymore? When I can’t run from my pressures anymore? What happens when the walls around me begin catching up and closing in on me? What then? Where to now? But is it bad to wish for an escape? Even if it is temporary? Is it too much to ask for? Is it too much to ask for a perfect world? A world where all things go my way? They say the things we experienced in the past make us who we are today and what we are experiencing today moulds who we will be tomorrow... but does it have to be so hard?

The Bible also say that Christ came that we might have an abundant life… Jesus says “come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest”… why then do we spend so much time carrying baggage around? Why can’t we just surrender it all to the Creator? Why can’t I just let it all go? Why do I spend so much time thinking? Trying to escape me and be somewhere else? Why do I have to face such situations? To make me a better person? To test the strength of my character??

We see so many people in the streets every day, but do we know what they are thinking? Do we know the challenges they are facing? Do we care? Probably not, because they are strangers... why should we care? We see our friends every day, or almost... we speak to them often... these are not strangers, but do we know what they are thinking? Do we know the challenges they are facing? Do we know how they really feel inside? DO WE CARE? Do we have the time and the energy to ask and know? Or are we busy dealing with our own conflicts? Our own walls closing in on us… is there really a perfect world? Do we live in a troubled world or are we the ones complicating simple things? Am I the one complicating my own life? Am I the reason my world is a world of confusion? Am I the reason I have this constant headache? Do I have the power to resolve the conflict within me? Do I have the answers to all my questions? Am I carrying a burden that is not mine?

I do not have the answer to these questions, or maybe I do have them and I just haven’t realized it... or maybe I like to complicate simple matters, but all I know is that right now I feel bound, enclosed within the confines of my own flesh, TRAPPED in my own body…